Big Brothers Big Sisters Reunites with Alumni during National Mentoring Month

As the nation celebrates National Mentoring Month, it is important to let all mentoring-minded people know how much they matter.  Across the nation, Big Brothers Big Sisters is reconnecting with alumni Bigs, Littles, donors, staff and board members.  We want to take a lead role in this initiative here in Kansas City by calling on the residents of KC to reconnect with us.  There are thousands of people in our city that have at some point in their life been a “Big”, a “Little” or a supporter.  It may have been years ago, but it’s safe to say that the impact you made has lasted through the years.  By reconnecting with Big Brothers Big Sisters in our Alumni program you will have the opportunity to see how mentoring is still changing children’s lives in KC.  This is your opportunity to network with other alumni, current volunteers and supporters and perhaps even reunite with your former Little Brother or Little Sister. 

Youth served by the organization are largely those of single, low-income or incarcerated parents.  Longstanding independent research and BBBS Youth Outcomes Survey™ results find children enrolled in Big Brothers Big Sisters improve in areas such as school, behavior and self-esteem.     

Today, as Big Brothers Big Sisters embarks on a nationwide search to reunite with former Bigs, Littles, donors, staff and board members, I encourage you to ask friends and family once involved to reconnect with us. And if you are the person with whom we have lost contact, we believe National Mentoring Month is a perfect time to reconnect. Visit www.reunitenow.org.

 

Micheal Lawrence, CEO, Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Kansas City

A Thankful Grandmother

BBBS-KC,

My grandson JJ was an outgoing little guy who in preschool was the star of every play they had. He loved to laugh, to run and play with all the other kids. That’s before kindergarten. He has a speech difficulty. He’s always had it. He’s been in speech class since he was 2. It’s just never been an issue. Until kindergarten. That’s when kids start to notice differences in others. JJ started to change. Just a little at first. More quite than usual, a little less participation than in the past. Not enough to make you stop and think. Not until years down the road when you look back and try to figure out when something started. By the 4^th grade I couldn’t ignore it. I started to visit school at lunch time. He would be eating by himself. The other kids would be there but he wouldn’t be visiting with them. He would just sit and eat. I started to visit at different times over the next several weeks. He would play games by himself at free time. He would read during group activities. When recess came, he would just walk around or stand by the school building. Then he finally told me what was happening. Every time JJ would try to talk, someone would make fun of him. Others would laugh and join in. He learned at an early age that being quiet and staying by himself was the safest way to protect himself. When I talked to the teacher she suggested a mentoring program at school. A volunteer would come once or twice a week for a visit to help with school work, eat lunch or just talk. I agreed almost before JJ did. The mentor came and met JJ. He came one more time for ½ an hour. Then he never returned. No explanation. The teacher said there were no more volunteers for the school year. He had a miserable time for the rest of the school year. I decided it was best for him to try home school.

That’s when we heard about BBBS. It sounded great! I sent in an application when JJ was 9 or 10. We had an interview with a wonderful man named Greg. He was sure he could help. But he said it could take a while. It seemed like no time when Greg called and thought he found a match. He brought a young man over to meet us. JJ said he would like to get to know him. The first month was great. The Big seemed interested. He called or JJ called him once a week. He would come over once a week. Then JJ or I would have to call. It just didn’t seem to work out. Again. Greg was almost as upset about it as JJ. But he was willing to try again if we were. JJ said o.k., so Greg tried again.

That’s howJJ got his Big Brother, Michael. It wasn’t long before they met. I wasn’t sure it would work. JJ wasn’t sure either. But he was willing to try again. And I am so thankful we didn’t quit. I explained to Michael what happened the other times and if he even had a thought he couldn’t do this please say right away. It never happened. Michael has turned out to be a God send. He is faithful to make sure he calls JJ. He spends time with him. It can’t be easy to spend time with a 12 year old and to hold his attention or to do what he wants. It’s not just that Michael takes JJ places. He takes him to Snow Valley. I guess you ski there. He takes him ice skating, or to the movies, or even just to his house to have dinner or play video games. He’s even includes JJ with his own friends and at game night with his church. It’s that and so much more. Michael let’s JJ be JJ. He lets him act like a kid. Or just talk to him. JJ can call and talk to Michael any time. The best thing Michael does for him is he makes him laugh. And if you knew JJ you would know that is no small feat.

We know how blessed we are to have BBBS here. Without this organization, JJ would not have met his Big Brother Michael. Thank you Big Brothers Big Sisters for being here to help the “Little’s” that truly need guidance, understanding, or just a friend. Michael, I know there are other things a young man could be doing with his free time. Thank you for the time you spend with my grandson. Most of all, thank you for being faithful to the commitment made to JJ. You are truly loved and appreciated for all you do.

Thank you for your commitment to the community, BBBS.

A thankful grandmother,

Debbie

Match of the Month P J O’Connor and Walter

 

 

            Coming from a large family PJ O’Connor always felt it was important to give back to the community in any way he could. This is one of the many reasons he signed up to volunteer with BBBS-KC. “I come from a big family of seven. So we have a huge extended family in KC and not having any children of my own I wanted to make a difference in the life of a child in KC. I signed up to be a Big, about six years ago and I have enjoyed the experience tremendously.” 

PJ was first matched with Walter in 2006. Walter’s mother, Maginta Young says she that PJ’s friendship has done wonders for Walter. “PJ is a wonderful role model for Walter. He works really hard at being a consistent presence in Walter’s life. For him to make time to be there for Walter has been a real blessing.” PJ in turn feels that Maginta works really hard to provide a structured nurturing environment for Walter, “I think his mother Maginta is wonderful. She has instilled in Walter a wonderful sense of family and to this day when I give a choice of activities like going to a movie, or going bowling, or hanging out with my nieces. He will choose the activity that involves family.”

A strong sense of family is something that both this Big and Little definitely share. “My favorite thing to do with PJ is to spend time with him and his family. He once took me on vacation with his them to the Lake of the Ozarks and it was a blast. We swam and went out to dinner and had a lot of fun!” says Walter.

Apart from vacations Walter also loves it when PJ attends his recitals and his track meets at school. Walter’s mother Maginta says it means a lot to Walter that PJ supports him in his interests. “Walter loves music and sings in the school and church choir. PJ makes it a point to attend his recitals. He even brought his mother the last time and that meant a lot to Walter.”

PJ says one of the most memorable experiences for him was their first Christmas together. Walter has a December birthday and PJ had decided to take him shopping. “I had just got cowboy boots. He was excited to see them and wanted a pair of his own. We went to the store right away and got him a pair that fit perfectly. He was so happy that he was literally dancing in them. He charmed everyone in the store with his joy and excitement. On the way back home he was really quiet. So I asked him what’s wrong and he said he was sad that I wouldn’t hang out with him anymore. He thought that the Match would only last a year and was sad that it would end. I was so touched by that, and I realized how much it meant to him. I told him that I was always going to be his friend and I saw his face just light up!”

Walter says that their friendship has stayed strong over the years. “I know I can talk to him about everything. I tell him stuff about what’s going on in school and my family.” PJ says, “I have seen Walter grow into a very mature, well grounded young man. He is a freshman in high school now and he is very focused on his future. We have talked also about the importance of attending college and when the time comes I am sure he will make the right choice for him.” He says he really gets as much out of the relationship as Walter does. “I honestly hope that I am helping with the things that matter like family and values and being focused on his future. It’s really gratifying when you are able to make a difference in the life of just one child.”

A Simple Gesture makes a BIG Impact

 

Big Sister Megan Peters had always done her best to give back to those who needed her help the most. It all started when she was in college and got involved with domestic violence shelters; it was here where Megan learned she liked feeling like she was making a difference in the world. However, after college was over and her career began, Megan found herself slowly shying away from hands on volunteer work and instead found herself giving monetary support. She missed the one-on-one interaction that she had been so used to having. That’s when she heard about the Kauffman Scholars program through Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Kansas City. It was then that Megan decided she needed to make a simple change in her life and become active in someone else’s. That life, just so happened to belong to 15 year old Ariena.

Megan and Ariena have been matched since 2009 and during that time, Megan has seen Ariena grow from a quiet and shy high school sophomore into a confident, mature, college bound young woman. Ariena has completed some of her greatest accomplishments with Megan by her side such as: taking her ACT test, gotten her first job, and has been accepted to two major universities. She currently is planning on attending Washburn University in Topeka, Kansas. Megan hopes to watch Ariena continue to grow and learn life lessons as she ventures off to college and starts a new chapter in her life. “It has been so rewarding watching Ariena succeed and find her passions in life. It is amazing for me to think I was a small part of her success.”

For Megan, becoming a Big Sister allowed her to contribute in a way that she had not been able to in the years since her college graduation. “I was able to see firsthand what a simple gesture or act of friendship could do for someone else,” says Megan. “It has been impacted my life in a very positive way. I love being a part of someone’s life and helping them make the most of their opportunities. Ariena has been a blessing to my family and I.”

“The rewards of being a Big are immeasurable” comments Megan, “especially when you see your Little’s face when they succeed.” Megan and Ariena’s Match just proves that simple actions can make a big impact in someone else’s life.”

The Kauffman Scholars Mentoring Program through Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Kansas City allowed Megan Peters to develop that one on one interaction while still being able to focus on establishing her busy career. Megan and Ariena were awarded the BBBS-KC Match of the Month in March 2012 for their inspiring friendship. Currently, there are more than 1,200 other friendships in Kansas City just like theirs. But there are still more than 600 kids waiting for their Big. Visit bbbskc.org/beabig for more information about how you can get involved and make a big impact in a child’s life.

BBBS-KC: Building Lifelong Connections

It seemed like they had been waiting forever. Raffeal Sears could hardly contain his excitement. They had been waiting all evening, in a car by the highway, to catch a glimpse of his favorite musician Janet Jackson driving by in her tour bus. “I had shared with my Big Jeff how much I loved Janet’s music and would really love to see her when she came to Kansas City. We came up with the idea of tracking her tour bus, and just like that my Big Jeff Gerome made it happen. That evening we got to meet with her dancers and even got a glimpse of Janet herself.” says Raffeal.

Raffeal and Jeff Win Best Halloween Costume 1996

Sighting Ms. Jackson was only of many fond memories in the history of their 16 year friendship. Despite facing many challenges, including moving out of the Kansas City area, this inspiring Big and Little managed to forge a life long connection. And yet this friendship would almost not have happened. Both Jeff and Raffeal credit their Case Manager Anthony with working really hard to connect them. “My first Big Brother was hardly around and didn’t really call or visit often. But my case manager Anthony was really supportive he told me not give up on the program and set up a phone conversation with Jeff for me. Right away we found we had a lot in common. We both loved music. From the beginning, Jeff supported my interest in the arts and performance and he made me feel comfortable sharing my goals and dreams.” Today Raffeal is a successful musician and performer. “Through his actions and his committed involvement, my Big Jeff taught me to always follow my passion.”

“I learned a lot more from Raffeal than I ever felt I gave him.” says Jeff. “When we reconnected in 2001 after losing touch for a few years, it was largely because Raffeal got me turned on to the Internet and Facebook and other great ways to keep in touch. What really matters is that we found a way to stay connected through the ups and downs.” Recently Raffeal lost his mother and he turned to Jeff for support. “Jeff helped me come to terms with the loss of my mother. I stayed with him in D.C and he took time to be there for me and share with me his memories of my mom. He really helped me grieve and come to terms with my loss.”

Sixteen years into their friendship, Jeff Gerome still credits BBBS-KC for making it all happen. “This is just a great program that builds wonderful relationships. I would say to anyone considering becoming a Big, just go for it you never know where it will take you.” Raffeal agrees, “I would have only one message for all the Bigs out there. It’s all about communication.

Raffeal and Jeff Halloween 2011

My friendship with Jeff has lasted so long because Jeff always made time to listen to me and kept an open mind. A Big can bring out the best in a Little. Let your Little do the talking and you’ll find that before long they will trust you with their hopes and dreams.” Jeff says, “The quality of your relationship isn’t about exciting activities or spending a lot of money. It’s about making your Little a part of your daily life. Like my friendship with Raffeal, it is a testament to time spent.”

Scott Cruce Named Missouri Big Brother of the Year

Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Kansas City announced today that Scott Cruce, a Kansas City Big Brother, has been selected as the 2012 Missouri Big Brother of the Year.  Three successful Little Brothers, thousands of dollars raised for Big Brothers Big Sisters, hundreds of Bigs recruited and countless lives have forever changed thanks to Scott. 

Scott Cruce, a 27 year old sports producer first became a Big Brother in 2002.  Jesse, Scott’s first little brother, was enrolled in the program shortly after Jesse had lost his father to a sudden illness.  Scott and Jesse had a great relationship but about a year into the Match Jesse and his mom moved out of state.  Scott and Jesse lost touch for a while but, thanks to Scott’s initiative, the two recently reconnected. 

Not long ago BBBS-KC received an e-mail from Jesse’s mom expressing her gratitude towards the BBBS program and her son’s Big Brother Scott. “Scott has been a happy memory for me and Jesse over the last 10 years.  I cannot thank him enough for that.  Scott has not only changed Jesse’s lives but all of our lives forever.” In fact, Jesse now attends Scott’s alma mater and just became Scott’s Brother on another level by joining the same fraternity.

After Jesse moved Scott was matched with his second Little Brother, Steven.  Steven’s parents divorced and his dad lived in another city, making it difficult to get together often.  Scott immediately stepped in and became a positive role model for Steven.  When they were first matched Steven lacked self confidence and was an average student, but Scott encouraged him, exposed him to many new things and talked to him about the importance of focusing on school and continuing his education.  Steven says Scott opened up new avenues for him, “He encouraged me to play sports in high school and he did his best to attend many of my games.  He also shared the values with me that he was taught by his parents.  Since he thought it was important that I think about college in my teenage years, he gave me a tour of two college campuses. Scott encouraged Steven with the message, “finish what you start: work hard and it will pay off.” 

With Scott supporting and motivating him, Steven thrived through high school, and his confidence and grades soared.  Steven’s mom says Scott’s influence was a big part of this shift.  Steven is now 19 and attends a local community college in Kansas City with a goal of working in the physical education field.  Scott and Steven are still very close and call each other often just to chat.  Steven says Scott has always been someone he could ask for advice on friends, sports, school or girls. 

Two years into his match with Steven, Scott was approached by BBBS-KC about a new position solely responsible for recruiting volunteers.  Scott left his sports radio job and became BBBS-KC’s Recruiter in May of 2005.  Scott brings his enthusiasm for being a Big Brother to each and every potential volunteer that he encounters.  Since joining the staff Scott has increased volunteer applications by 54% and increased Big Brother applications by 60%.  Scott has been with BBBS-KC for seven years and through this position has recruited hundreds of Bigs to make the life changing decision to become a mentor.

A few months into his new job with BBBS-KC Scott decided to take on another Little Brother in the Match+1 program.  Scott was matched with 7-year-old Kyle in June of 2005.  Kyle was raised by his grandparents and had no contact with his father or his mother.  Despite his grim circumstances Kyle was a happy-go-lucky kid with whom Scott immediately connected.  Kyle struggled with his grades, lacked self esteem, and frequently exhibited behavior problems that affected his schoolwork. 

During their first few outings together, Kyle’s first question when Scott picked him up was, “when are you coming back.”  Kyle was so accustomed to people coming in and out of his life and not sticking around that he was worried that Scott was going to do the same.  Scott and Kyle have now been matched for 6 years.  Kyle says, “Scott has been a father figure to me.  He’s helped me maintain good grades and talked to me about furthering my education.  He has taught me the game of football and signed me up to play on my first football team.  He comes to my games and cheers me on. I look up to Scott and I hope to be like him one day.” Today Kyle has improved in almost every area possible.  He no longer has behavior problems.  He is overcoming his distrust of people and is making A’s and B’s in school.  He has set goals for his future that include attending college.  Maybe he will even pledge Scott’s fraternity!

As a Big Brother and BBBS employee Scott is often asked to speak at corporate meetings, United Way rallies and to the media about his experience.  At one recent United Way speaking engagement, Kyle went, too.  When Scott was finished the crowd asked Kyle what he thought of his Big Brother. Kyle replied, “Scott is my hero.  I really look up to him and I want to be like him one day.” A true testament to the impact Scott has had on Kyle. 

In addition to being an excellent Big Brother and staff member Scott is a fundraiser for the agency raising over $15,000 for BBBS-KC over the past 7 years through Bowl for Kids’ Sake.  He is also a yearly Friendship Foundation donor to the organization.  His commitment to BBBS-KC and his Littles are truly changing lives in our community for the better.

www.bbbskc.org/mantoman

www.bbbskc.org/mantoman